There are a lot of myths out there surrounding infertility. Here are a few of them and how they relate to me:
Just relax, then you’ll get pregnant.
No. Just, no. If this was the case, I think there would be alot less pregnancy going on in 3rd world countries. Women have been getting pregnant under duress since the dawn of time, it isn’t stress keeping me from getting pregnant, it’s the disease I suffer from called infertility. No one tells a cancer patient to just relax and their cancer will be cured. If they did, you’d tell them they’re an idiot.
Adopt, you always get pregnant then!
While this does occasionally happen, it is not what happens for the vast majority of infertile couples that adopt. Only having a .01% chance to conceive naturally does not mean it’s impossible, just very close to impossible.
My brothers, sisters, cousins, BFF went on vacation after trying for __ years and SURPRISE, pregnant!
A vacation does not get you pregnant either, please see the above “relax” comment. Anyone ever also stop and think that maybe the “vacation” they took was actually a treatment cycle? Especially given the vast majority of couples do not share their infertility with anyone? Either way, a vacation is not going to magically make my fallopian tube finally work.
What about surrogacy?
Outside of the exorbitant cost, there is nothing wrong with my body to prevent me from successfully carrying a pregnancy. In fact, my specific issue is why they created IVF in the first place. Women with tube related infertility have some of the highest rates of success, as that is typically the only issue the woman suffers from.
Just adopt, you’re being selfish.
Adoption is selfish as well. Everything we do in life is selfish. My desire to experience pregnancy and give birth to my own child is a natural biological desire.
If you can’t afford treatment, you can’t afford children.
Yes, because every single couple that has children pays $9000+ up front just for the chance at having those children. This belief is so totally wrong it is ridiculous. We have the space, the finances, and the love to give to a child, we simply cannot afford an expensive, paid up front medical procedure. Most people cannot. Most people however have the luxury of being able to pay off the bill over time for medical treatments.
Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mother, maybe you were meant to ___________ instead.
I’m not even going to go there. But yes, this has been said to me, on multiple different occasions.