We’re A Go for IVF #1

After my last post, I decided to call the previous RE I had seen, prior to my most recent RE and after my RE from hell. Turns out they don’t regularly do local monitoring for a travel IVF cycle, but they were more then willing to do it for me. So this past Tuesday morning I made the long haul up to Beachwood at the ass crack of dawn, wait, before dawn to be there bright and early at 6:15 am for my date with Mr. Transvaginal ultrasound wand. After that I went downstairs to sit and wait for my blood to be drawn. I then made the hour treck south to work and waited for my call with my calendar and instructions. Except when that call came it was just telling me that while my STAT order for my ultrasound results had arrived, my STAT bloodwork had not.

Peeved I ended up having to call them this morning to get transferred to the lab customer service line to get them to call my results over. Which also means I have to watch my insurance like a hawk and make sure they don’t charge me for a stat order that wasn’t processed as a stat order. At any rate, all bloodwork came back good. I got the thumbs up to proceed with this cycle.

So. Monday I got my meds in, which when all sat out is really intimidating to look at:

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As far as the schedule goes, right now I am set to start birth control tonight and take it until the 1st, then start 10 units of lupron nightly from the 26th to the 5th.

Commence me freaking the hell out.

The Hunt for Local Monitoring

So. Here I am, 10-ish days from my first baseline ultrasound and bloodwork for IVF #1 and I STILL do not have somewhere local for my monitoring. You’d think this part would be easy. I have a local RE. Neither the ultrasound, nor the bloodwork require the RE. My IVF clinic will fax the order’s to them. My insurance covers this portion. All should be well. But it’s not.

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My previous RE recently left the office I was going to, and the RE I now have basically told me that since I am not cycling there they won’t do anything for me. Despite talking him into doing my HSG and my saline ultrasound (And after the fiasco that has turned in to, I’m not sure I want him doing it anyway).

While this sat as a draft I did hear back from the other hospital system and they will do it, but not at the facility 15 minutes from me. They’ll only see me at the facility an hour from me and 2 hours from work. Thanks guys.

So worst case, I can go there. Still waiting to hear back form the closer private clinic. I hadn’t gone there as they were a client at my previous job and that cold have been awkward. If they say no, not sure what I will do. Not sure I can push 3 hours late to work every other day for two weeks at work. Anyone else ever done a travel cycle and if so, how did you manage your local monitoring?

 

HSG & Saline Sono Update

An update on the HSG and saline sonogram situation. Both complete. Now it’s a matter of waiting for my next period and then it is on to suppression!

As for the procedures themselves? Yeah. About that.

First, I have had 2 HSG’s prior to this. But, because my last HSG was over a year old, they wanted a repeat. No big deal I figured.

Second, I’d never had a saline sonogram, but it didn’t seem bad from what I had read online.

I was completely wrong on both counts. I think however it was due to scheduling two procedures back to back that involve clamps on your cervix. And then the RE doing my HSG forgot I don’t have my left tube, so kept pushing more contrast trying to visualize it.

But, I powered through and both came back good. Right tube still normal. Uterus is clear of polyps and fibroids. The only thing he did note was that the top of my uterus comes down about 6mm. So instead of looking like a triangle, it almost looks heart shaped. Now if they would just fax my results over to CNY all would be good. Still also looking for remote monitoring, but I think they are going to do it.

Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how to patiently wait 1 more month to really get things going.

Hurry Up and Wait

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Today is the last battery of things standing between me and starting my cycle. Today I go in for a repeat HSG and a saline sonogram. The HSG is just to make sure the endometriosis hasn’t caused any issues with my remaining tube, the saline sonogram is to check that I don’t have any polyps or fibroids in my uterus or anything else that would interfere with implantation. Overall, not my idea of a fun day, but considering how hard it was to even get them to do this, I am looking forward to it.

Getting my appointments this month has been like pulling teeth pretty much. While I am beyond grateful to have found a way to do IVF, not going to lie, traveling for IVF is a pain in the ass. No one locally wants to help. I’ve spent so much time on the phone talking my RE’s office into these 2 tests, it’s ridiculous. While I understand the frustration they might have that I am not cycling with them, they are the ones at fault here. If they offered 0% interest in house financing, and it was as cheap as it is at CNY, I would gladly cycle with them. But they don’t, and they are almost 3 times more expensive. So they only have themselves to blame in losing me as an IVF patient.

My next battle will be getting them, or someone else locally to do my monitoring. Thinking of that, I am starting to mildly freak out at this point. After this, I start lupron, have another period, then start stims. My tentative timeline puts me at possibly having my transfer on Halloween. Which I’ll take as a sign of good luck, it being my favorite holiday.

Right now I am excited, nervous, worried, scared, you name it. I’ve waited so long to get here, and I am so happy to FINALLY be here. But I am so scared this will fail. I’m scared I won’t have any eggs. I’m scared I will and they will be shitty. I’m scared I’ll over stimulate and end up with OHSS and blow up like a balloon. I’m scared the transfer will happen and fail. I’m scared the transfer will work, but I will end up with another ectopic or a miscarriage. I’m just scared. I want to have hope, but I have failed so many times to get to this point, hope seems pretty pointless. But I’m going to try anyways. Maybe I can be positive this will work, and it just will. I just hope those around me can catch me if it fails.

Living Life on Hold

fc1d51916b21653a7120c77e4f98149eRecently, life having been on hold for several years has really started to get to me. It’s one of the hidden issues for those of us suffering from infertility. Waiting for coverage to see an RE. Waiting for treatment cycles. Waiting to recover from pregnancy loss and surgery. Waiting to afford IVF. It never seems to end.

I went against the grain in getting a new job in the hopes that it would break the pent up feelings I have. It hasn’t worked. Here’s the thing. Every single thing I do, or we do as a couple right now, has to be weighed against IVF.

We’d like to buy a house, but we can’t. The down payment for that would pay for IVF.

We need a second car, but we can’t. The payment for that is a chunk of money not going to IVF.

We HAD to buy a stove, seeing as we didn’t have one. I still feel guilty, that is $450 not paying for IVF.

I don’t buy any clothes because I hope to be pregnant and what a waste that would be.

And on and on.

It’s just a constant struggle. Everything comes to a screeching halt, waiting to maybe have enough to pay for a medical procedure. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that the $200 something I pay a month in insurance premiums would help pay for my IVF.

Hell, my insurance could have paid for almost 2 IVF’s paying for the psychiatric treatment I have needed resulting from my infertility.

And while I sit here waiting? The endometriosis and my aging keep pushing the likelihood that I will succeed further and further away.