I waited a day to do this post as today marks 15 years since my Mom died. In recent years I have been generally okay on the anniversary, but this year it has really hit me hard. Despite the marker of my being alive longer without her, then with her being last year, this year that fact really hit me. I think alot of things factor into it this year. Trying to get pregnant is of course a big one. I don’t have a go-to woman to ask about things. I don’t know what pregnancy was like for my Mom. That plus the falling out we’ve had with my not so great to begin with mother in law, leaves me with a big void, that while it has always effected me, has gotten worse in the past couple of years. There’s so many things I want to share with them.
Anyway, onto my parents. My Dad was born May 26, 1956 in Texas City, Texas. His name was William Blake Jones, but everyone knew him as Blake. He even had friends that didn’t know his real name was William until he died. He was around 6’5″ and he weighted around 250 lbs for most of my life. He had dark brown eyes and hair so dark brown it was black looking, which he kept short, and was super curly (he had a fro in the 70’s).He was your typical 70’s rocker/stoner/jock and he is without a doubt one of the smartest men I have ever met. He could have done anything he wanted, but ended up being a stay at home Dad (which is rare in the 80’s).
My Mom was born August 17, 1956 in Barberton, Ohio. My mom stayed in Akron for a while before moving to Buchannon, West Virginia for high school. When she graduated she moved back to Akron and lived with her her sister Paula (My Aunt Paulie that died a few months before my Dad). She had dirty blonde hair, and bright blue eyes (which my brother has the little jerk). She was only 5’2″ and a half (cannot forget the half) and she was typically around 220 lbs throughout my childhood.
My parents met through mutual friends. My Aunt Paula and my Mom had a friend named Pam Witschey. Pam was dating my Dads best friend Gordie. I guess everyone thought my parents would work well together and they got set up on a date. From that date on they were inseparable I’ve been told. They got married on February 21, 1976 when they were 19 years old after dating for 6 months.
My parents went to alot of concerts together. I think somewhere in the 200-300 range. They saw every great classic rock band, The Eagles, Led Zeppelin, KISS, Sabbath, you name it. Music was probably there biggest passion, outside of each other.
My parents were married for just 6 months shy of 20 years when my Mom died. My mom died a little more then one month after her 39th birthday of a massive heart attack. The day my Mom died, a part of my Dad went with her. After my Mom died is when my Dad stopped taking care of himself. He was truly lost without her. He’d even told me once before that the only reason he hadn’t killed himself after my Mom died was because he loved my brother and I too much.
My Dad died on July 6th, 2008. He had a stroke in November of ’07 and just never really recovered. Alot of it was due to him neglecting himself over the years. I think he felt like my brother and I had reached a point where we were okay, and he could just let go of all the pain.
My parents relationship was my example of what love could be. Although Bill and I have both said neither of us would go to the extreme my Dad did (we would both date after the other was gone, etc). They taught me how awesome a relationship could be, and gave me a goal for what love could be like. I was really lucky in that my parents really truly loved each other, and showed it. They’d always snuggle on the couch together and watch tv, my Dad would hug my Mom and kiss her while she made dinner, etc…
I was a really lucky kid to have had the parents I had growing up, and even though I don’t have them any longer, I try to live by there example to show people what a good person my parents raised, since they aren’t around to show everyone what good people they were.