I put up a good front. I am a fake it till you make it, grab life by the balls and force it type. Its worked for years. Its gotten me to where I am today.
But, recently, I am not okay. I am broken. I am helpless. I am frantic and anxious and moody.
Some of it is the medication.
Some of it is the stress and anxiety compounding things.
Some of it is the reality of my situation…
More Dead Grandparents.
Add in the frustration that just working hard and being the bread winner will not be enough to create a family, and I am at the end of a rope.
I am thankful every day for my husband. He is my everything. My calm in the storm. My rock.
And I appreciate how hard that is for him. I know how hard it is for him to sit and watch me break and not be able to fix it.
I understand that life isn’t fair. But is there not a point where enough can be enough? Where I get to have a family? Where I no longer have to be completely broken?