Well, I had my follow up appointment this week. And with the follow up another change in plans. Instead of Clomid and Decadron, which he says I don’t need (my androgen levels came back normal on my most recent blood panel), we proceeded to a repeat HSG this month. I guess he was concerned that the surgery could have damaged my right tube, so he wanted to be sure it was clear. So Wednesday I went back for the repeat HSG. The plus with a test like this, especially when it is your RE doing it, at his office, with just one of his nurses is that I not only get to watch, I get my news immediately.
My right tube is still completely clear and spilling. It was all done so quickly now that my misguided and bratty left tube is gone, Bill said I should get a discount for using less dye and having fewer xrays taken. Of course, this bit of good news was also followed up with the doom and gloom of the fact that I could still have damage around that ovary, etc, etc.
So, plan now is that I go back next Monday or Tuesday. Given my regular cycle, I should be close to ovulation. RE wants to verify which side I will O on and will proceed to tell us to go home and screw like, as Bill put it, “rabid howler monkeys”, or he may suggest an unmedicated IUI. Only downside to this plan is that even if I O on my bad side, that will be my marching orders.
From there, I don’t know. HSG supposedly makes you more fertile for the first 3 months after. I am all aboard that train of course given that we conceived my doomed pregnancy (also my only pregnancy ever in 7 years) the 3rd month after my last HSG. My only real worry is that my stupid right tube looks like it may have been open this entire time, so there could be unviewable damage to it. But, I’m trying to think positively. Maybe it was backed up with mucus or something all these years and we just got unlucky that I had a good O from the left side before the right.
We’ll see. RE still wants me to do IUI with injectables, but said IVF is of course our best option. And of course when I told him yes, I understand, but IVF will take me a couple years to save for I got reminded of how old I already am and that 2 years could be the difference between my currently awesome egg status, to a poor egg status.
Like I needed that reminder? I know my time is running out, but I:
- Don’t have the credit to take out a loan.
- Don’t have anyone who can cosign a loan for me.
- Do not have family I can borrow the money from to pay back.
And let’s not forget that the cost of IVF and meds is basically half my yearly salary right now.
On the plus side.
If things go well and I am still were I am now 2 years from now (praying to every god in existence on this one), he did say I am an ideal candidate. On my ultrasound this week at only CD 5, I have around 8-9 follicles on each ovary, which he said he has seen on every ultrasound he has done on me. So he thinks that if I have to go through IVF, when he goes to stim me I should produce a bunch of high quality follicles, which means we should get a bunch of eggs (say 20-ish he thinks?). He also said my egg quantity is good, especially for my age. So if we end up on that road there are some plus’s to keep in mind.
So now I wait. Like I do every month. It’s a nasty vicious cycle. Period, wait to ovulate, wait to test, BFN, period, wait to ovulate, wait to test, BFN, period. Rinse and repeat. Over and over. And don’t forget all the crying and obsessing and worrying, as those are all large parts of this process as well. All in the hopes that I might be lucky enough to experience something biology has programmed me to want above all other things.
Maybe some day.