I wanted to wait until I was confident in saying it. I’m still not 100% on it, but I think I have done it.
What have I done? After 13 years, I smoked my last cigarette a week ago today. I got to the end of my pack and just made up my mind that that was it. I was going to stop psyching myself up for it and I was just going to do it. So I did.
It’s been exceptionally hard. I have absolutely no aids in helping me quit, or anything to take the edge off of my anxiety. Needless to say, I don’t think I have been a pleasant person to be around the majority of the time over the past week. The intenseness of the cravings has subsided, but I still have alot of really shitty withdraw symptoms. I have the full spectrum of nicotine withdrawl symptoms. Intense cravings, headaches, nausea and throwing up, body aches, severe mood swings, irritability, and lack of sleep. I haven’t slept through the night in a week.
I will say I would never wish this on my worst enemy. This has been, without a doubt, the hardest and most painful thing I have ever done to myself. The only thing that has truly kept me from lighting up has been the support I have gotten.
Now I just have to hope the symptoms subside soon, before I go crazy.